News
Civil Rights
Feb. 19, 2002
Men Deserve Equal Right to Walk Away From Parenting
Forum Column - By Glenn Sacks - Ken Johnson, a 10-year veteran of the Seattle Fire Department, wanted to be a father, but with the right woman and at the right time. Three years ago, he and his wife separated after six years of marriage, and each began to date, according to court documents filed in Snohomish County, Wash. During this time, Johnson had an affair with Cathy, which resulted in a pregnancy.
Forum Column
By Glenn Sacks
Ken Johnson, a 10-year veteran of the Seattle Fire Department, wanted to be a father, but with the right woman and at the right time. Three years ago, he and his wife separated after six years of marriage, and each began to date, according to court documents filed in Snohomish County, Wash. During this time, Johnson had an affair with Cathy, which resulted in a pregnancy. His legal complaint alleges that he begged Cathy to put the child up for adoption or terminate the pregnancy, but Cathy refused. Now Johnson and his wife, who have reconciled, can't start their own family because almost half of Johnson's net income goes to support the child he didn't want.
Johnson is part of a growing movement of men who bristle at being "coerced fathers" and who have enlisted in a "Choice for Men" movement whose goals are as legitimate as the goals of the women's reproductive rights movement. They note that one million American women legally walk away from motherhood every year by adoption, abortion or abandonment, and they demand that men, like these women, be given reproductive options. They point out that, unlike women, men have no reliable contraception available to them, since the failure rate of condoms is substantial, and vasectomies are generally only worthwhile for older men with children.
The Choice for Men movement seeks to give "coerced fathers" the right to relinquish their parental rights and responsibilities within a month of learning of a pregnancy, just as mothers do when they choose to give their children up for adoption. These men would be obligated to provide legitimate financial compensation to cover medical expenses, the mother's loss of income during pregnancy, etc. The right would only apply to extra-marital pregnancies.
Some of those who fought for women's reproductive choices agree with choice for men. Karen DeCrow, former president of the National Organization for Women, writes, "If a woman makes a unilateral decision to bring a pregnancy to term, and the biological father does not, and cannot, share in this decision, he should not be liable for 21 years of support. ... Autonomous women making independent decisions about their lives should not expect men to finance their choice."
Courts have refused to consider fathers' rights when child support is demanded from men who were as young as 12 who were statutorily raped by older women, when women have impregnated themselves with semen from a used condom and when women concealed the pregnancy from the man and then sued for back child support 10 years later.
"It doesn't make sense," Johnson's wife says. "The courts force my husband and I to support a child he never agreed to but make it financially impossible for him to have a child with the woman he loves and married."
Glenn Sacks, an adjunct professor of English at the College of the Canyons in Newhall, writes about gender issues from the male perspective.
By Glenn Sacks
Ken Johnson, a 10-year veteran of the Seattle Fire Department, wanted to be a father, but with the right woman and at the right time. Three years ago, he and his wife separated after six years of marriage, and each began to date, according to court documents filed in Snohomish County, Wash. During this time, Johnson had an affair with Cathy, which resulted in a pregnancy. His legal complaint alleges that he begged Cathy to put the child up for adoption or terminate the pregnancy, but Cathy refused. Now Johnson and his wife, who have reconciled, can't start their own family because almost half of Johnson's net income goes to support the child he didn't want.
Johnson is part of a growing movement of men who bristle at being "coerced fathers" and who have enlisted in a "Choice for Men" movement whose goals are as legitimate as the goals of the women's reproductive rights movement. They note that one million American women legally walk away from motherhood every year by adoption, abortion or abandonment, and they demand that men, like these women, be given reproductive options. They point out that, unlike women, men have no reliable contraception available to them, since the failure rate of condoms is substantial, and vasectomies are generally only worthwhile for older men with children.
The Choice for Men movement seeks to give "coerced fathers" the right to relinquish their parental rights and responsibilities within a month of learning of a pregnancy, just as mothers do when they choose to give their children up for adoption. These men would be obligated to provide legitimate financial compensation to cover medical expenses, the mother's loss of income during pregnancy, etc. The right would only apply to extra-marital pregnancies.
Some of those who fought for women's reproductive choices agree with choice for men. Karen DeCrow, former president of the National Organization for Women, writes, "If a woman makes a unilateral decision to bring a pregnancy to term, and the biological father does not, and cannot, share in this decision, he should not be liable for 21 years of support. ... Autonomous women making independent decisions about their lives should not expect men to finance their choice."
Courts have refused to consider fathers' rights when child support is demanded from men who were as young as 12 who were statutorily raped by older women, when women have impregnated themselves with semen from a used condom and when women concealed the pregnancy from the man and then sued for back child support 10 years later.
"It doesn't make sense," Johnson's wife says. "The courts force my husband and I to support a child he never agreed to but make it financially impossible for him to have a child with the woman he loves and married."
Glenn Sacks, an adjunct professor of English at the College of the Canyons in Newhall, writes about gender issues from the male perspective.
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